Hey, sorry that you went so long without a response.
Your cleaned page looks great.
When it comes to SFX, it's your choice on whether you want to remove them, or just typeset the translation next to it.
Sometimes, when there's a lot of grey tones in one panel, you will have to level it separately from the rest of the page-- pg9 of this chapter is a perfect example. You can just copy and paste that panel and then level it. I've posted a quick edit. to keep the tones, I had to move the grey arrow as well.